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More from =ibjennyjenny

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August 10, 2008
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SONY
DSC-W90
10/8000 second
F/8.0
6 mm
100
Aug 5, 2008, 5:35:19 PM
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:iconibjennyjenny:
A dear friend of mine for the last 12 years took his own life yesterday, we found him in his car yesterday morning in front of our house, a hose running from the exhaust back into the vehicle, the engine still running. This shot was taken the day before he died. The sky was amazing and represents so much more to me now that he is gone. I am moved by the difference a day can make and how fragile life can be. Wherever Patrick is now, I hope he is still able to witness the days that look like this.
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:icono0oluxo0o:
=o0oLUXo0o Apr 21, 2010
Fantastic Shot! Sad story and im sorry but an amazing View!
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:iconibjennyjenny:
=ibjennyjenny Apr 21, 2010   Photographer
Thank you so much. It was a beautiful day, it really was. This photograph just means so much to me, as you read in the description it was the day before my best friend killed himself, he was actually with me when I took the photograph. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it.
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:icono0oluxo0o:
=o0oLUXo0o Apr 22, 2010
my pleasure.. as i said its a great shot and im very happy it serves as a memory to what im sure was one of his best days... this image proves that nothing can take that day from you.. :)
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:iconibjennyjenny:
=ibjennyjenny Apr 22, 2010   Photographer
Wow, what a nice thing to say and a wonderful way to look at it. It's been such a process for me since he left and I am now beginning to come out on the other side of it all...finally. I can actually remember now without so much pain, though it still hurts, just not like it did.
I so appreciate your very thoughtful comments.
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:icono0oluxo0o:
=o0oLUXo0o Apr 22, 2010
I cant say i have ever had to deal with it but i have lost people very near and dear to my heart and i know to this day the thought of them hurts but its not always a bad hurt. its the day i wake up and don't think about them that freaks me out a bit.. i'm always afraid i will forget :( That's whats so great about your Photo. you can always be reminded.. :)
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:iconibjennyjenny:
=ibjennyjenny Apr 24, 2010   Photographer
Forgetting has been one of my biggest fears, especially right after he died. It was as if... life just went on. I remember looking around and feeling angry that everything had not stopped, I mean, my best friend was dead how could everyone just act like it was just another day? That is when my fear of forgetting began. Remembering but Patrick is the only way I can keep him alive. there is a fine line between forgetting and letting go, I am there at this point in time and it's difficult because I don't want to forget but it hurts to remember and I need to let him go so I try not to think about him but then I feel like I'm forgetting. Does that make any sense at all?
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:icono0oluxo0o:
=o0oLUXo0o Apr 24, 2010
sounds like your still a little angry with the fact that he left you. not to the point that if he walked back in your door right now that you wouldn't slug him for being gone so long and give him a big hug. but to loose some one important to you is going to be a struggle on so many levels. for me it was my grandmother and my god daughter. those are the ones that him me the hardest and i dealt with them both in different ways but miss them as much today as i did when they passed.

i dont think about them everyday like i use to. and that helps but there are time i see a TV shot or hear a song that reminds me of them and i fall apart lol, but that's ok, there still in my heart and mind and its going to take a hell of a lot to get them out.
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:iconsidneyeileen:
=sidneyeileen Feb 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
:wave: Hi! This deviation was featured in a news article titled Silhouettes of All Shapes and Sizes --> [link]
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:iconyori1976:
~yori1976 Oct 13, 2008  Professional Photographer
Dear Jennifer,

I just read John's journal, and reading what he wrote froze my blood, as this is not my first encounter with people departing us when we miss them so!

I don't think there is a force in the world that can erase the pain - after two month, or after two or twenty years, but even though I don't know you, I would like to reach out and say that someone else is thinking about you.

:heart:
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:iconibjennyjenny:
=ibjennyjenny Oct 14, 2008   Photographer
What a kind and thoughtful person you are.....thank you for taking the time to send this, it really means a lot to me. You are right, two months later or twenty years, this will be with me always. Patrick was a great guy and a better friend and as much as I try, I will never truly understand how he could arrive at a place in his life where there was nothing to live for, not one thing.

I did an editorial [link] after his death in his memory and received so many comments and support from so many wonderful people here. DA has really helped me get through this time, best therapy ever.
And then there is John, he reached out when I really needed someone to and really made a difference, he is the best photographer and a friend.

Thank you again.
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