Sandy's Guestbook [link]
She will cherish the messages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sandy went into surgery about 12:30 this afternoon.
(I have been pacing)
The worst is over. Sandy chose to have a double mastectomy and the doctors have come out to say they feel they got it all. Sandy is still in surgery but now undergoing the reconstructive phase. Thank you all for your prayers. I can breathe now.
Sandy and I were up almost all night long researching every word of her pathology report. Her doctor appointment is not until Tuesday and that is much too long to not know what this all means so together we were on a mission to sort through it. I would research and print and then I would hand it to her to read and go back to researching and printing. By 3am we had the entire couch covered in paperwork the table too. We were exhausted, emotionally drained from this entire week. I have tried to stay positive because I know how important a persons attitude is in getting through this but sitting there surrounded by paperwork, I looked at her and just felt so scared.
It took all I had to fight back the tears; all of a sudden every moment we had ever spent together was right there with us, this amazing friendship, unique almost, a friendship we stumbled upon by accident. There it was and there we were in this place of searching for answers, sifting through words and numbers that are suppose to represent what is going on inside of her but nothing on those papers represented was truly going on inside of her; suddenly in a situation she had not prepared for, not yet. So many things left to do, people to see, things that needed to still be said, always assuming that tomorrow is only a day away but now the threat that tomorrow may never come, the possibility that all of the things she has yet to do.....are done.
Sandy is a fighter and will not allow cancer to beat her, this I know. Cancer has finally met its match in Sandy but despite the outcome of this, despite a positive attitude, inside of her she knows this is a threat.
I guess I never saw this side of cancer, I have known people throughout my lifetime that have survived this diagnosis but I wasnt close enough to the battle to see this side of it. Sandy however, is my best friend and I am witnessing the impact of this disease in a way I never have before. I am seeing first hand what a person goes through when they feel there life may be coming to end and its a scary place to be but not because of the actual threat of death, it is scary because of the threat of the undone
I have always been a believer in the power of today
, the importance of now
but sitting with Sandy in these moments has made me understand it so much more. This life is just so temporary and the people we love seem to pass on through, each of them leaving with us a part of themselves for us to carry in our own way. The only thing we can really count on is that they are only passing through, that we
are only passing through and we never know for how long.
We are all so concerned with the future; we plan for everything in advance. We spend so much time investing in what will come but the only thing that is really important is what is here right now. Right now is the only thing that we can really count on; there are no guarantees for any of us.
We live in such a busy world so full of day to day events that are really unimportant when looking at the entire picture. In the end it wont matter how much money we made, or how big our house was, the car we drove will mean even less. Our legacy will be who we loved, the lives we touched. If we really want to live forever, the only way to do this is to feel love and to give it because once a person has you in their heart you will never really be gone, you will live on within them forever.
I am proud of Sandy today and I admire her more than ever before because the things that matter to her are the things that really matter. She is ready to face this battle and I am ready to stand there beside her holding her hand. Her strength is amazing but her soul is unbelievable. I am so thankful I know her.The Update
As you just read the pathology report is in....but not all of it. We are waiting for prognostic markers to define a treatment plan. Sandy does in fact have breast cancer but will not really know the full details until her appointment on Tuesday. I will update you all as soon as I find out. Thank you for all of your prayers.
P.S.- I have decided to keep the photographs below in my journal for a while, it makes Sandy smile when she sees them there and I like it when she is smiling.
Some of you know of Sandy through my work ,she has been a model for me...
And she is the mom of some of my models...
And other friends from Sandy's Farm....
A Rescuer's poem
I am an Animal Rescuer
My job is to assist God's creatures.
I was born with the drive to fulfill their needs.
I take in helpless, unwanted, homeless creatures without planning or selection.
I have bought dog food with my last dime
I have patted a mangy head with a bare hand
I have hugged someone vicious and afraid
I have fallen in love a thousand times
And I have cried into the fur of a lifeless body
too many times to count.
I have animal friends and friends who have animal friends.
I don't often use the word "pet".
I notice those lost at the road side and my heart aches
I will hand raise a field mouse
and make friends with a vulture
I know of no creature unworthy of my time.
I want to live forever if there aren't any animals in Heaven
but I believe there are
Why would God make something so perfect
and leave it behind
Some may think we are master of the animals
But the animals have mastered themselves
Something people still haven't learned
War and abuse make me hurt for the world
But a rescue that makes the news gives me hope for mankind
We are a quiet but determined army
And we are making a difference every day
There is nothing more necessary than warming an orphan
Nothing more rewarding than saving a life
No higher recognition than watching them thrive
There is no greater joy than seeing a baby play
who only days ago, was too weak to eat
By the love of those who I've been privileged to rescue
I have been rescued
I know what true unconditional love really is
for I've seen it shining in the eyes of so many
Grateful for so little
I am an Animal Rescuer
My work is never done
My home is never quiet
My wallet is always empty
But my heart is always full
Written from a wild heart by:Annette King-Tucker, Animal RescuerWild Heart Ranch Wildlife Rescue