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As human beings, we are drawn to those of who we share similar experiences with. Browsing deviantART lately I have noticed how many young people we have here and along with this I have discovered by reading Journals that many of the younger ones here suffer from Depression and many more speak of death and dying by suicide as if it were some solution, I want you to know that it really is not.
I want to bring to attention some facts that I learned too late in hopes that if you or someone you care for is in danger you will seek help because you or your loved one CAN be helped.
  
  Studies show that DEPRESSION alone carries it's own risk factors for suicide but add to this ANXIETY and/or PANIC DISORDER and the risk rises dramatically.  
Follow these links for more information on Depression, Anxiety and Panic Disorder.
www.healthyplace.com/communiti…
www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/…
www.freeessays.cc/db/39/pnl68.…

If you are depressed you need to be aware of these additional disorders, read about it, know about it and know that you can get help, this can be treated just like anything else, Suicide is not the solution, though it may seem like the only way, it is not, doctors can make the pain go away but you have to take that first step, ask for help.

I just lost one of the best friends I have ever had 5 weeks ago on August 9, 2008, he took his own life and he did it at my house.  One week prior, he had told me that he was suffering from Anxiety and he was having Panic Attacks, he said he could feel his own heart beating in his chest and he was scared. I told him to come up to my house and stay here for a little while, not realizing the seriousness of what he had just told me because Patrick had been suffering from Depression for a while. I found out too late that I should have called 911 that night instead of inviting him up to my house but I didn't know but I know now and this is why I am sharing this with you, in hopes that if you are ever in a similar situation, you will recognize the signs.

To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you.....

Your pain is real but Suicide is not the answer, instead all you will create are more questions. If there is just one person in your life that you love, that you even like, think of them because if you kill yourself they will spend the rest of their lives wondering what it was they could have done different.

I will never forget the morning Patrick was found dead outside my home, the sound of my neighbors voice echoing up the stairway to my room, alerting me that Patrick had a vacuum hose running from the exhaust pipe to the window of his Jeep or the look on his face when he had to tell me that my friend was gone. For the rest of my life I will remember the trip to the coroners office to pick up Patrick's belongings that were in his vehicle at his time of death, the smell of Carbon Monoxide (exhaust) that still lingered on his things, the 2 inches of water that filled containers that were in his vehicle, the water being from the condensation inside the car, the description from my neighbor who opened the door of Patrick's car that morning and turned off the engine, he speaks of the drops of water falling from above Patrick, and how the entire interior of the vehicle was saturated. These things will forever be inside my head and the pain will be with me forever because there is no way to stop it because I cannot bring Patrick back no matter how I wish for that to happen.
You on the other hand have the power to stop your pain and prevent any others you love from suffering pain as well, get help, call someone, anyone, don't allow this to beat you and to take the people you love hostage because that is what will happen. If you believe no one cares then you are wrong, so wrong, even if you have no family, there are people who care, who want you to stay alive, you matter, you were born and you were meant to live.


I have listed some resources here for anyone suffering or for anyone you know who may be suffering, don't wait, please don't wait because once it's too late....it really is too late.


Need Help Now?
Call 911
or
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
or
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)
or
Text Telephone:
1-800-799-4TTY
(1-800-799-4889

If you are thinking about suicide...read this first www.metanoia.org/suicide

A matter of life or death...suicide.com/  ;

Suicide Hotline:  1-800-273 Talk or 1-800-273-8255

The line is staffed 24 hours a day.


Each year, more than 30,000 Americans take their own lives. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among children, teens and young adults ages 10 to 24. In the United States, about 4,000 young people die by suicide each year.
More than 90 percent of people who kill themselves have a diagnosable mental disorder, commonly a depressive disorder or a substance abuse disorder and in most cases, the disorders are treatable.

There are often signs that someone may be thinking about or planning a suicide attempt. Here are some of them:

* talking about suicide or death in general
* talking about "going away"
* referring to things they "won't be needing," and giving away      possessions
* talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
* pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out
* having no desire to take part in favorite things or activities
* Having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
* experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits
* engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or cutting, for example)



And now for the expression....


Just a single mom raisin up the kids
Little Tommy's seven now and her daughter Justine just turned ten
Pinchin every cent laughin and lovin and content
You would never think a couple years ago she almost let her job, her kids, her mind, her life go up in smoke
Right there on the edge right before the fall

suicide? by monika002 Suicide by freakyrainbow 
    suicide by oO0magicalgirl0Oo  
           Suicide by muratsuyur

He was seventeen and his heart was broke the middle of the night a bottle full of pills and a goodbye note

suicide by deardark   Suicide by nakedtears6
          
                   

Sittin on his bed but then he bowed his head
prayer by deviantartfox  

Now I see him every week and every now and then
He talks about that night and the peace that came over him
talk about a sign
Can I get an amen well there were tears on his face

He said look what happened lord....

Somebody said a prayer

:thumb67546383: Hope by TonyUmana
hope... by koharubiyori Hope of tomorrow by Zindy

Somebody had some faith

Hope by pinica   faith between us by Kinpurney   Life's Beauty by EvILWeriDO   Silent prayer by gilad

SOMEBODY FINALLY HIT THEIR KNEES AND ASKED FOR HELP FOR HEAVENS SAKE

Prayer by daughtercrow
Prayer by Bluwi Prayer by Marrozik :thumb39670068:    Prayer by k0rvis   Prayer for Pain by captainkodak1 

Somebody finally found
Someone who really cares....

A Prayer For you.. by StrippedSoul   Prayer by Teakster   Prayer. by AndreeaRad  :thumb98108346:   I fell in love by disposable-heroX   She sings a song of grace... by ToriMitsuki Prayer by Drewbart

Somebody said a prayer  


In memory of...
Patrick Brian Williams
June 12, 1965 - August 9, 2008
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcasziebubblz:
CaszieBubblz Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thankyou :) Things are a lot better now.
Reply
:iconden12:
Den12 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2011
<3 That's good.
Reply
:iconhyper-chibi-absol:
Hyper-Chibi-Absol Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2010
I thought of suicide multiple times. Rather recently actually. Though.. someone called the police on me so I ended up in a psyche ward for 5 days. I haven't had any thoughts sense. I'm not sure if it's because of the medicine or people of the patients I talked to.

The nurses acted like they didn't care about you at all. The only people that got me out of my thoughts was the patients whom which I made friends with all of them.

I have OAD (obsessive anxiety disorder)so my doctor there told me to take Celexa and I've been on it ever since.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2010  Professional Photographer
I am happy to hear that you are still with us and taking your meds, I have respect for you, you are hanging in there and that's difficult to do at times. I have heard that Psyche wards can be harsh and from what I have learned it's much better if a person asked for help but asking is not always easy, sometimes impossible.

I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I am proud of you. I know we are strangers to one another but I am still proud of your courage because to me...you are brave.

If you need someone to talk to please feel free to note me anytime.
Reply
:iconhyper-chibi-absol:
Hyper-Chibi-Absol Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2010
I wasn't the one who asked to be taken in though. Someone called the police on me.

Well thanks.

Thanks for the offer. Right now the only thing that's bugging me is the fact that I can't use the original story I had for my game because my boyfriend won't let me use it.. Not that it matters.. I'll figure out something else.
Reply
:icondeathangelexxx:
deathangelexXx Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2009  Student Photographer
my friend talks about commiting every day, she cuts herself, and has been doing 4 atleast 4-5 years, and she's only 14
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2010  Professional Photographer
Believe her. She needs help, talk to her parents, a school counselor, call a hotline, do whatever you have to do to help. Don't worry about her being mad at you, keeping her alive is what is important.
Reply
:icondeathangelexxx:
deathangelexXx Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2009  Student Photographer
my friend talks about commiting every day, she cuts herself, and has been doing 4 atleast 4-5 years, and she's only 14
Reply
:iconcurtsibling:
curtsibling Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
To me, suicide would be letting life's problems win.

There is always a solution...Always tomorrow.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
I agree...I wish everyone else did too. Thank you
Reply
:iconvokarri:
Vokarri Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2009
Thank you. Thank you so much for writing this, it really helped me.
It really inspires you. =)
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
I am so happy to hear this...to know that a year later Patrick's message is still being heard.
An hour ago I was downstairs looking through some old negatives and stuck in between them was this photograph of my daughter when she was four years old. (she's 15 now) In this photo she is wearing a garbage bag as dress, a garbage bag that Patrick had put on her as a joke when he was suppose to be helping her get dressed.. I asked him to grab her some clothes that night because we were going somewhere and when
I returned to the room she was in this garbage bag grinning from ear to ear, Patrick was cracking up, he always made himself laugh, even when others weren't laughing. I laughed that night though.
When I ran across the photo I thought the timing was incredible as I have been having one of those days that I have often where I can't seem to get him out of my head. Then I log into dA and check this article which I haven't done in a while and read this message from you and now I am sitting here crying which is what I needed to do hours ago to feel better because it's the only way you know...to stop the hurting momentarily...I have to let it out of me...but it will come back...it will always come back.
Thank you...I needed this..I am reminded that there is some meaning in his death...
Reply
:iconmelody-chaos:
Melody-Chaos Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2009
A very powerful message, I'm sorry for your loss.

And for those 5 of you who gave this article a devious rejection, shame on you.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconmelody-chaos:
Melody-Chaos Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009
No problem at all.
Reply
:iconanalea56797:
analea56797 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
very powerful message,i know A LOT of people that need to see this.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you
Reply
:iconmiotas-sisceal:
Miotas-Sisceal Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you so much.. This whole past week for me has just been horrible.. and I came so close every day to slipping so far back to where I was in high school, utterly depressed but this time I don't want to do what I did back then. I don't know if you could even know how much reading this means to me... and reminds me of why I stopped my self-injury 4 years ago... Thank you.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
And thank you...you have no idea how much it means to me that Patrick's message is being heard...his message is all I have left of him and I have to keep that alive.

I am so sorry that you are fighting this battle with depression, at least you are aware and that is half the battle right there. Hang on, today will be over and so much can happen tomorrow. It's hope, it's faith, it's life and it's not easy but worth the ride if you can see it through.

Suicide may seem like the only real way to stop the pain once and for all but you must sacrifice the ones you love to get there. Many feel that they are unimportant and won't be missed...Patrick thought this....one year later and I am still finding it difficult to breathe...for the rest of my life his death will me like a shadow...the rest of my life seems like a long time to carry this.
Reply
:iconmental-illnessclub:
Mental-IllnessClub Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2009
Very powerful message. And I'm sorry for your friend and all those he left behind, he was an unfortunate victim of an illness that takes many lives. Thanks for sharing this story :heart:
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you. Losing Patrick to suicide has been life changing for me, there is no closure and the only meaning I can find in it all is right here with those his story has reached and touched in some way. This last year has been like a living nightmare...each day wanting to wake up and feel that relief you feel when you realize it was only dream but that relief never comes...I am forever caught in the never ending reality that Patrick is dead and he is dead because he killed himself...here...right outside my bedroom window.

People don't take depression seriously enough... I know I didn't... I do now.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconmental-illnessclub:
Mental-IllnessClub Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009
:tighthug: I can tell just from the comments on this news article alone that his story has helped people and has affected them in a positive way. your right depression isnt something to be taken lightly and I hope that stories like yours will inspire more people to be aware that depression is a real illness, and there are unfortunate outcomes. Thanks again for sharing! :heart:
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2009  Professional Photographer
:hug:
Reply
:iconwhatsupmgf:
WhatsUpMGF Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2009
This is an amazing news artical and something that isn't given enough attention. My mother and I were COMPLETELY unaware of the symptoms and it was almost too late (if you catch my drift) when we realized I suffered from depression. I take medication daily, but even with that we have to watch for signs of a possible 'drop' in mood and I suffer from intense anxiety.

Thank you SO much for bringing awareness to such a serious topic.

:heart:
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Professional Photographer
First of all...I'm sorry this reply is so late. I try to look in on this article regularly for any new comments and I am always surprised that there are new ones every time I check. However, it has been a while since I looked...it's difficult sometimes...all the time but some days are worse than others.
I happy to hear you are well and on top of your depression, it's really the only way to survive it when anxiety is also a factor. The statistics for depression/anxiety together are alarming to say the least, suicide is almost always the outcome in the untreated. I wish I had known this then but I didn't, I had no idea.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, it means more than you know.
Reply
:iconwildanimal7722:
Wildanimal7722 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009
I have a friend who says she tried to commit suicide about a year ago. Now I have started having thoughts of suicide, but after reading this, I don't think I want to anymore. I am very sorry about the loss of your friend too :cling:
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2009  Professional Photographer
Today has been a tough day already...I woke up just missing Patrick so much. I decided to read this article again, I do this when I am thinking of him a lot...

And here you are, another who has been touched by his story and I am so glad I wrote this because there have been so many of you that have said it has helped you in some way. You give his death a meaning and I so thank you for that.

Please seek help...find someone to talk to, note me if you need to, I will listen. Whatever it takes to keep you here that's what needs to happen, you do matter, you matter to me.
Thank you for reading the article.
Reply
:iconwildanimal7722:
Wildanimal7722 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2009
yeah, I think one of my biggest problems is that I have trouble sharing my feelings. but a about a week ago, I was feeling really bad, so I decided to just right a journal entry about how I feeling. Many of my friends comforted me, and ever since them I have also been feeling better. I think I wrote the journal the day after I read your article. Once again, I am very sorry about your loss. Patrick will always be in your heart. if you ever need comforting look there, and feel free to note me too :3 and thank you for being such a big help :)
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009  Professional Photographer
We all come to a place in our lives when things become overwhelming and sometimes it is very difficult to know who to share things with or if we want to share at all.
Almost always...it helps to get it out and feel as if a load has been lifted. That's what friends are for and you have a friend in me.
Reply
:iconwildanimal7722:
Wildanimal7722 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009
yeah, it's good to have friends there who can help comfort. earlier today actually, I got into a really deep conversation about suicide. I think it really helped both of us, to talk to someone who is close to us and understands us.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2009  Professional Photographer
I am so happy you are talking about your feelings with someone.
Reply
:iconwildanimal7722:
Wildanimal7722 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2009
yeah. it really helps :3 I'm glad I was able to talke about my feelings.
Reply
:iconcharlie-chopstix:
Charlie-chopstix Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
wow that was really touching, I almost lost a friend to suicide, but reading this has really made me think how close I was to being in your position... I'm extremely sorry to hear about your friend and you'll be in my prayers tonight, even though it's been a long time since he passed, every prayer helps. Thankyou so much.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Professional Photographer
It will be a year on August 9th but seems as though it was yesterday at times. This has been one of the longest years of my life. Losing Patrick has been life changing for me, it is an emotional journey that seems to not end...

It's the questions....all of the what "If's"....they run through my mind on a regular basis.

Patrick and I were the best of friends, no one knew me better, I thought I knew him too but I didn't see this coming. This has left me in a place of questioning not only him but myself as well.

I am so happy that you did have to endure this...I am happy your friend is alive. Never take one single second for granted, not one and listen...listen to what your friend is NOT saying. And above all, never underestimate the power of depression, in yourself or in others.

I am glad you read this article, posting this has been my therapy. This place is incredible, the response to this article...I don't have words to describe the feelings of gratitude I feel.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconcharlie-chopstix:
Charlie-chopstix Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome and thankyou again
Reply
:iconreikanobutushi:
reikanobutushi Featured By Owner May 13, 2009
thank you for this article :(. I was thinking about suicide just now because my friend is mad at me, but now I see that suicide isn't a solution :(.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
It really is not a solution, I am happy this article helped you, thank you.
Reply
:iconthorn-zenithar:
Thorn-Zenithar Featured By Owner May 1, 2009   Digital Artist
that is AMAZING! oh my gawd. i just got over my second time in depression. stupid moving to a place where everyones known eachother since kindergarden....T_T

im ok now though. i once thought that if i died no one would care. but thats sooooo not true, caus i have so many friends who would wonder why i died, and theyd be sad for teh rest of their lives. and dont get me started on my sister and parents.....so yeah, this is VERY touching!
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you so much for reading the article.
It is true, if you left this world you would be missed.

Patrick has been gone for almost a year and today is his Birthday, the pain is still so very sharp and my heart aches......

Patrick is missed, I will miss him every single day for the rest of my life.
Reply
:iconthorn-zenithar:
Thorn-Zenithar Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009   Digital Artist
welcome!


awwwww, that must be really hard for you!!
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009  Professional Photographer
It was a difficult day like all days since he left. Thank you again.
Reply
:iconthorn-zenithar:
Thorn-Zenithar Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009   Digital Artist
oh your welcome. :)
Reply
:iconfirelugia205:
FireLugia205 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2009
You have changed my view on life with this.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
I am so glad you received something positive from this, I hoped for this when writing it. I wanted Patrick's story to reach people, for people to understand the pain of suicide for those left behind, a pain they must live with for the rest of their lives because it never goes away. All the questions that remain unanswered run wild in one's mind and they multiply.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article, it means the world to me.
Reply
:iconnekoluver15:
nekoluver15 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2009
oh my goodness, i was reading this while listening to dare you to move...i'm about to cry...so sad...
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you for reading the article, thank you.
Reply
:iconitachi0:
ItachI0 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009
simply emotive... and expressive
Reply
:iconibjennyjenny:
ibjennyjenny Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you
Reply
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